I had my appointment with my Family Doctor yesterday. I just love my new Dr's office. They're so awesome there, I just want to hug my Dr. every time I see her.
So they're sending my referral in to the Fertility Clinic...finally. This is something that I had been fighting for for 2 years with my old Doctor. Multiple times he said he had sent it in, multiple times I phoned...and nothing. So with my new Dr. they did the required tests right away and are sending the referral off today. I wish I had fought my old Dr. harder on this referral, I wish that I had been able to get there 2 years ago. I can't help but wonder where I would be now in this journey.
But now that it's actually here, I have mixed feelings. I want to try and be postive about it, but I just have this feeling that we're not going to be able to get and stay pregnant. Heck, it's been 2 years since I've even been able to GET pregnant. I thought I was finally in the right mental place to go forward with adoption. I want to be a mom, regardless of how I get there.
Maybe I'm just over-analyzing all of this. Maybe I should just be glad that I even have this chance and not analyze what could happen. I just don't know if I could mentally take another miscarriage. I just don't know....
Sorry this is kind of a negative post. My trying to be positive thing just isn't working for me today.
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Hang in there. I hope you're able to get some answers that help you find some calm in this whole process.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just have to let the negative out. That's okay...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you finally got the referral.
ReplyDeleteI think that anyone who's experienced IF or a loss has had the same negative feelings. Hang in there.
Before I even got to the bottom of your post I was thinking to myself "Girl you gotta be positive!" My husband and I fought for 8 years to be referred to the RE! We start IUIs next month. Good luck getting your referral together and at your first appointment.
ReplyDeleteICLW
Just from my own experience, it really doesn't have to be adoption or TTC. We started our adoption paperwork in Oct. '08, went active with our agency in Feb. '09, and brought our baby boy home in May. Meanwhile we were still trying, though mostly just naturally during that time, and since we brought our amazing son home, we have started seeing a new RE and done 2 additional IUIs with injectibles. We've been trying for over 3 years now, but who knows, maybe we'll make our sweet boy a big brother soon. So, good luck with the adoption process AND the new doc!
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